America Attacks Beijing Part I-A
In the early twenty-first century the American army attacked Beijing. It was completely overwhelmed. A meeting of the American Chiefs of Staff concluded:
This defeat was not only a strategic defeat, but also a tactical defeat.
I. The military used the Beijing Tourist Bureau’s Tourist Map of Beijing, the Beijing Department of Transportation’s Transportation Map of Beijing and the Beijing Geological Center’s Beijing Relief Map. We mistakenly thought that although the things the Chinese made for themselves were not of high quality, they at least would not cheat themselves, for in this we were wrong. From the first day we began to use these maps we were preparing to wage the wrong war at the wrong time, at the wrong place, in the wrong country.
1. Originally the 3rd Battalion of Mission 506 of The 101st Airborne Division planned to parachute over Tsinghua University but landed instead in the Summer Palace’s Kunming Lake. Those who could swim were captured, those who could not drowned. Not one of the 533 soldiers escaped.
2. After storming Beijing’s Yungang District, the 10th Mountain Division, according to the original plan, were to destroy the China Air Number Three Research Center. A group searched in Yungang for about a day but could not locate the exact location of the research center. They had no choice but to deploy an entire regiment in the search, resulting in the failure of the regiment to finish their preparations for the war.
Meanwhile, the main force, after getting to the crossing point at Yongding River, had no choice but to wait for seven hours at the ferrying point because the air force could not deploy pontoon units on time. When the pontoon units finally arrived they discovered that the so-called Yongding River didn’t even have any water.
Back in Yungang, when the regiment finally withdrew from the Yungang area they discovered that they had actually been going in circles inside the research center’s courtyard all along for four days!
3. After breaking through the Chinese Number 26 Garrison, the Number Three Heavy Infantry took the Badaling Expressway into Beijing. Upon reaching the traffic circle at the intersection of the Badaling Expressway and the Fifth Ring Road, the troops saw a traffic jam unlike any they had ever seen before in the United States. The traffic did not move at all for a full fifteen hours and in that time the US forces were smashed by Chinese reinforcements.
To be continued…
Tags Humor
