Why are Chinese women so rash?
I don’t like to talk a lot about my personal life on this blog, but…
Last night my wife and I had a little spat over the laundry. All couples argue from time to time. Sometimes the argument escalates. It escalated (because I am an idiot). We’ve made up now–I said sorry–but it got me to thinking. I’d really like to know what it is that makes Chinese girls so ready to say and do incredibly stupid things when they are angry. (My wife has read this and admits that she said something incredibly stupid last night and has given me the OK to post this).
China is the only country in the world where more women commit suicide than men. Girls in the countryside, after having a small, irrelevant argument with their husband will just up and down a bottle of rat poison. One could put this down to the lowly status of women in Chinese society, but there must be at least one society (don’t women in some Muslim countries have arguably lower societal status than in China?) where women have even lower status than in China. I think there is something more complex at work here, but what?
My wife lists three reasons:
Women in Muslim countries may accept their low social status as being normal, but in China Chinese women won’t accept their low status, but have no way to change it.
Many Chinese women hold in their emotions until they can hold them in no longer and explode.
Many Chinese women believe in reincarnation. Their life in this world is no good – try again in the next.
Sounds reasonable, and partly answers the question, particularly the second reason. Now I’ve just got to work more on the fine art of not pissing off my Chinese woman. 
Tags Women, Chinese Society
March 3, 2007 at 8:33 pm
i don’t know much about china — yet. but i will be exploring soon.
i think all three reasons are probably right but my experience has taught me that a belief in any kind of afterlife diminishes the importance and meaning of the only one we have.
March 3, 2007 at 8:40 pm
That seems to be the conclusion some of those Chinese women who commit suicide have come to as well.
March 6, 2007 at 12:09 pm
I experienced a Chinese girl doing crazy things: throwing stuff, breaking stuff, yelling so loud that I was getting a heart attack, calling 911 and hanging up (and then 911 calls back!). Not too mention physical violence. But I didn’t think that it’s a common trait of the whole ethnicity. I thought I was just unlucky:-)
But after all, maybe they are just stupid …
Another thing that bothered me: if she was expressing her angriness at the mall and started to grab me and beat me, all the people around was blaming me: “Hey, hey, what’s going on?” – “Don’t you see I am being beaten up? Gonna help me, dude?”. She doesn’t understand that violence in North America is not accepted…
March 6, 2007 at 12:55 pm
I wouldn’t say “ethnicity,” but I would say “culture.”
March 6, 2007 at 12:55 pm
Well apparently every expat has “enjoyed” the same experience. Chinese women have a hot temper but as soon as the rash is over; they are sweat like a candy: why do you think we like them?
March 6, 2007 at 3:03 pm
I don’t particularly have a thing for Chinese women. I mean, my wife does happen to be Chinese, but then I also happen to live in China. The odds are pretty good that I’d marry a Chinese girl living here, especially in a small city like Weifang where I knew a grand total of about five single western women, only one of whom spoke English fluently. Honestly, I don’t like Chinese girls any more than I do any other region’s girls. In fact, after living in China for going on five years now I find western women far more exotic than Chinese women, though I will also admit to having found Asian women somewhat exotic when I first moved here.
May 26, 2007 at 2:00 pm
i guess that they just plain stupid.
September 28, 2008 at 6:51 am
Hello All,
I had been dating a Chinese woman (41 Years Old) and things were going very good until the last couple of weeks. Her best friend from China came here to Kuwait where I’mwe’re both working and all of a sudden she starts to tell me she needs “her time” and I barely saw her at all. I’m thinking she’s probably seeing someone else and that she’s lost interest in me. Now I start getting crazy because I really love this woman and would and have done just about everything I could to make her happy. So I’m wondering what she’s doing during “her time” and I try finding out. Wrong move. You can’t make someone love you, was the very best lesson I came out of this relationship with. She came over clearly upset and wouldn’t talk much. Then she errupted in a violent outburst and being already frustrated about what was going on I returned the outburst to her. Things got out of control, she grabbed a knife from the kitchen and threatened to kill herself, then she turned the knife on me. She broke a couple of glasses with Coke in them and made one hell of a mess of my living room. I lost it and slapped her in the face but this had no affect on getting her attention. She just continued with this rage. I know this sounds crazy too, but I’m not bothered about the broken glass or her pulling a knife, but I am concerned about why she got to this level to begin with. First she thinks I’m seeing someone else (I haven’t cheated on her the whole time we were dating) and then she goes into this fit of rage. Is there more going on here then just a cultural thing? I’m worried about her so much, but I can’t even make contact with her to talk about this. I don’t know if she’s alright or not and I’m worried sick about her. She means the world to me and I’m sure I’ve lost her for good. (slapping her was such a wrong thing to do, I know that now) I sometimes think her friend had alot of influence on her recent behavior, but now I am afraid if I even approach her, she’ll want to immediately go crazy on me again. I really wanted this to work since I fell so madly in love with her, but I’ve just given up on trying with her today. I think the best thing for her health is to stay away, and maybe she’ll get better. I am so sorry I didn’t have better sense than that. I wish I could turn back time and do it all over again, but it’s never going to happen. Her temper has made it vertually impossible to mend this broken heart. I have never been more sad in my entire life.
November 25, 2008 at 3:04 am
I dated a Chinese woman for over two years. The first 4 to 6 months things could not be so great. She gave me massages, cook, clean etc. To make the story short she started to get angry for little things then she left me. Since I love her so much I beg her to come back to me thinking that things will change. she keep leaving me very angry. One day took a knife and started screaming that she was going to kill herself. I had to call 911 three times in different occasions. On day while I was driving in the highway she opened the door and tried to jump from the car, I had to hold her (well later I tough it was an act). At the end I could not even sleep in piece thinking she will do something crazy. .. I used to like Chinese woman a lot, I think they are great looking but too childless, inexperience and don’t know how to prioritize things. At the end she never cook, clean and even didn’t want to make love.
January 27, 2009 at 12:41 am
Chinese women; boy are they interesting… and that’s a generalization I think we can all agree to.
First, I cannot stop myself from falling in love with my girlfriend’s soft, imperfect, just right beauty. She is not “hot,” she is gorgeous. And when she smiled and is sweet I melt, I want her so much. Bottom line, she is smart, intelligent and wants a family, just like me.
Then there’s the weird stuff. Like, oh I don’t know, the workaholism and extreme over-achievement streak. There is the issue that she is older than me, but paradoxically she can be childish one moment and too mature the next.
Finally, there’s the Asian stereotypes that clearly are not true. Chinese women will not give massages that much, I massage my girlfriend. Chinese women cook, but they’re no housewives, I’ve cooked more for my girlfriend than she has for me. In bed, they are beautiful and soft, but honestly, they’re not all dragons here, matter of fact they can be quite passive.
Advice, date a Chinese woman; chances are she’ll be loyal and you might hit it off for the future. More importantly, don’t, do not, push the wrong buttons. You can tell when the wrong buttons are being pressed and you must stop. Remember, it took Moses what, 40 years to get to Canan, it will take you some time to win her heart.
May 1, 2009 at 10:07 pm
Dudeson sayd the right thing.
May 2, 2009 at 2:09 pm
As a Chinese woman who grew up in the UK, I also cannot understand why some of my Chinese girlfriends behave the way they do – but now that I’ve moved back to Asia, it became apparent to me, that maybe ‘peer influence’ and the ’soap drama’ they’ve got here is why women behave in a certain way and think it’s the ‘right thing to do’. I quickly lost interest watching TV here, because I cannot stand the exaggerated drama scenes, all those crying, shouting and yes, a lot of ’suicidal’ moments featuring women trying and succeeding in save broken relationships! Seriously, everything in moderation is an art, which many Chinese girls/women still need to grasp
July 2, 2009 at 2:17 am
I don’t know many Chinese women but I can say those I do know are among the highest maintenance people I have ever met. Everyone walks on egg shells around them for fear of pushing the wrong buttons. Funny thing is – I get the impression they think they are strong individuals – but the truth is they are very narrow minded and emotionally immature. Hate to stir the pot even more but they are also some of the most superficial people I have known… I realize I am generalizing but there seems to be a pattern emerging, at least in my little world…
October 19, 2009 at 11:08 pm
Jeff i totally agree with you there 100% from my experience with chinese girls, and theres been many of themjust for that reason, no on is worth such high mainenance and demands. maybe i should find a nice rural chinese girl whos not spoilt by the big city mentality
November 7, 2009 at 11:21 am
I’m new to the conversation but.
I tried to date my best friends sister and she didn’t want anything to do with me except talk.
This went on for three months, almost every night and for hours.
I’ve known her for over 25 years and she says I am a great guy but has 100% no interest in me.
She is 40, single and lives with her parents in her childhood bunk bed.
Her father told her that she WILL marry only chinese since the day she was born and that might have something to do with it.
Also she takes care of her nephew as her own while her brother lives a free life with his girlfriend.
I would say it’s all because of culture but they have lived in the USA for over 30 years now. Also they have been raised in USA schools so go figure that one.
Kevin P.